Dreams | Memory | How a Firefly can Help you See

roger and carol3


This search and first contact was prompted by a dream. I had a dream that I saw Roger in an exotic market, where I was browsing, possibly somewhere in Asia or North Africa, filled with colour, fabric and magical smells. I looked up and there was Roger in the distance, who smiled and waved at me. I was struck by how tall he was, (the viccitudes of memory), and prompted to look for him, which I had done several times before over the years, but never found him.

Blast from the past – 1970’s. While researching on the internet, I came across a newsletter which seemed to have Roger’s signature on it. Not knowing whether in fact this may be Roger, I mailed the school to ask for his mail address to reconnect again. They were kind enough to forward me his mail. Lo and behold it is Roger. Perhaps 30 years later. He forwarded this picture from the 1970’s, when we lived in Cape Town. I think this serendipity is amazing! He was about to start a journey from the United Kingdom, to visit friends here in South Africa and then to work in North Africa.

Mindfulness & “heartfulness”: Two days ago, I spent time with Roger, here in South Africa.  It was remarkable to be mindful of the preciousness of this encounter and the opportunity to meet and speak again after so much time had passed. I was entranced by the unlikelihood of this experience and was overwhelmed with a sense of deep gratitude. For me, this is clarified in the words of Pablo Neruda, one cannot: “…measure the road which may have had no country…”, and again from Bird: “…I had no more alphabet than the swallows in their courses…” there is no adequate language for this kind of experience, how can words describe such moments? They have to be felt with “heartfulness” and the presence of the moments with mindfulness. Unmeasurable, right now. Sharp, clear, real.

I spent more time with Pablo Neruda today and so connect with these words from Memory: “…but do not ask me the date or the name of what I dreamed – I cannot measure the road which may have had no country, or that truth which changed, which the day perhaps subdued to become a wandering light like a firefly in the dark.”

This firefly helped me to see and connect.


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