What have I learnt from the painful experience of giving up the custody of my daughter?
For me the biggest lesson was to come to a place of acceptance. Sacrifice has a purpose and is never meaningless. The power of accepting circumstances that are created outside of one’s control is liberating.
Has it given me new tasks and challenges?
The tasks have been focused on healing. It is important for me to talk about these issues. It has taken a lot of talking to get to a place of greater equanimity, but it is in this talking that one heals. I feel that things should be spoken and should not remain hidden. In this way one can look at things in the light of the spoken word.
Has it made me a stronger more perceptive person?
Yes, I would say definitely. It has also made me aware that one has to be careful about the choices that one makes and what one brings into one’s life. This also applies to who one brings into one’s life. This makes me a much more cautious person.
Can I use this experience to help others?
Yes, I think I can. I think it can translate to any loss. When I had a Reiki practice interestingly enough, people used to ask for help with grief and to help them go forward with their lives out of bad or difficult situations. I had instances where people were able to make big changes in their lives after receiving Reiki. I think in many ways, coming to a place of acceptance is a key to seeing new possibilities for going forward.
Can the way I endure my situation serve as an example to others?
This question is difficult to answer. I find it hard to hold my behaviour up as an example for others. I am a flawed human being just like anyone else who is trying to do the right thing in life. I make mistakes. Our Gashela has said, “still you must try.” So all I can say is, I just try.
Does this experience make me appreciate things I have taken for granted?
I think we need to be constantly aware of the things that are important and meaningful. We should not need to have a crisis or sorrow to think about what is real and important. We need to have an attitude of appreciation and realise that life is precious and temporary.
What choices do I still have?
I think in the living of life there are daily, even moment-by-moment choices. So to say, what choices I still have would be difficult. What I can say is that I need to continue to make careful choices and to do that in the now while looking to the future. By being future directed, I am in a sense creating my future. I try to remain in a spirit of hopefulness. Yes, some days are easier than others but the words of my Geshela come to mind: “Still, you must try”. Day by day moment by moment to be here now looking towards what can still be. Viktor Frankl in his darkest moments, used to think about what he could still achieve. The warm lecture theater of the future, where he visualised himself speaking.